It’s just seven months until my wedding and I’m about to kill all my friends and family.  And Rick’s not much help either.  I DISTINCTLY remember asking everyone, including my MOTHER, to submit to me their ideas of what they want to get out of this day.  I’m a giver, and this is my gift to them.  I want my wedding to be one of the best and most important days in THEIR lives too.

Man I should quit trying to be such a philanthropist.  Since no one was answering that question, I called a meeting – bridesmaids, groomsmen, families, first cousins – and who shows up?  Grampa.  Just Grampa.  If he were smelling a little better these days I might not have minded that.  It was at the Arrowhead Mall, that Mexican place, and there he was chomping down on the guacamole and me with a ten top table and just the two of us!

So with that fiasco under my belt, all the things I’m purchasing for the Big Day and the several Semi-Big Days coming up (the showers, fittings, girls’ night out, the stripper) I’m coming up short this month and need a cash advance.  Grampa couldn’t even help me with that, so I went to Payday Loans in Peoria, AZ www.PAYDAY-LOANS-IN-PEORIA.INFO , one of those payday loans on line you read about.  This one was great because there is no credit check and you get money in a day.  Whew.  Not sure if even my maid of honor (boy, is that a misnomer) could come through so quick.  

My wife is a birder.  That means she’s into bird watching.  For five years now, she’s been spending a weekend every month off in the desert or traveling all kinds of places in Nevada and Utah.  I didn’t mind because I work on weekends and have my own hobbies too.

Funny thing was she never really talked much about it.  So I started checking into her suitcase.  There were these black straps, leather or vinyl I’m not sure, and some tube thing about ten inches long, two or three inches in diameter, hooked up to an air pump.  Also she had some underwear I never remember her wearing.  She said these are the tools of birdwatching — that they sometimes hit the birds to stun them then study them with the vacuum tube. And the underwear moved the sweat away from her skin when out there in the brush.  Now I’m no scientist, but there’s something fishy about that.

So I went online and did a Google search, to find these things and buy some of my own.  I got into some chat rooms of experts in leather and they told me I should go to a trade show in Chicago called IML, International Mass Leather.  I guess there are experts at everything.  I wasn’t sure what it was all about but doggonit, my wife is scheduled for a bird trip the same weekend so why not?  To get the flight booked, I needed a little more cash so I went to South Whittier payday loans www.south-whittier-payday-loans.info, a fast cash, paycheck advance service that brings you money in a day.  Perfect.  So the money went right into my checking account and I was able to book the flight and the hotel.  Chicago, here I come!

My parents moved us here to Fontana like 18 years ago from New York.  I was too young at the time to remember, but I’d take New York City any day over this dump.  I can’t believe they thought there was something great at living in a place they call the Inland Empire.

Like, I’m supposed to care about the Auto Club Speedway?  And enjoy the Santa Ana Winds? The Lewis Library?

Whenever I can I get the hell out of dodge.  I have a friend from high school who lives in Venice Beach, in LA, so about once a month I head out there and we go clubbing and meet coastal guys and stuff.  As soon as I get my nurses certification, I’m headed over there for good.  Meanwhile, if I need some cash to go party or buy clothes (hello Melrose!), I get a cash advance from Fontana Payday Loans they offer a no credit check loan, and they don’t ask you many personal questions, i go to  http://www.ezloanlookup.com/paydayloanlookup/uncategorized/fontana-payday-loans/ , which is your next paycheck early so you can grab a good deal when it’s there.  It’s fast cash, money in your checking account in a day.  Sure beats the Mary Vagle Science and Nature Center.