Over in IT, we get a little frustrated with the apparent need for the rest of the company to make our lives just that much more challenging.  For example, when someone from our team drops all that meaningless work he or she is doing at her desk to come over and solve your problem, it seems appropriate that your choose that moment to leave and go for coffee. That way you won’t be there when we need your password. It’s nothing for us to remember 700 IDs and corresponding passwords.

This is why IT people have hobbies, to relieve the stress.  Some of us have a bit of an Internet porn addiction, but because we’re IT, we know how to fool the company filters.  And some of us go online to shop (that whole thing with our slacker wardrobes is just to throw you off from knowing we are paid THREE TIMES WHAT YOU MAKE because we essentially know everything about you and hold great power over you and the suits). 

But even though we’re well compensated, there come points where the expenses get ahead of us (hookers, German high performance cars, Prada, Lakewood Center Regional Mall and vacations in Monte Carlo all add up).  So that’s why a lot of us will occasionally get a paycheck advance at Lakewood Payday Loans, www.lakewood-payday-loans.info, which is an easy payday loan company that requires no credit checks and no faxing.  

I work in the IT department at a company here in Yorba Linda near Arroyo Park, and we decided to issue a memo to all employees saying the following:

When you call us to have your computer moved, be sure to leave it buried under half a ton of postcards, baby pictures, stuffed animals, dried flowers, bowling trophies and children’s art. We don’t have a life, and we find it deeply moving to catch a fleeting glimpse of yours.

Well, apparently some people took it the wrong way.  Some started sending us photocopies of their children’s art.  Some started sending us post cards from their vacations in Vegas (hey, didn’t they hear their stories are supposed to stay there??).  The stuffed animals began to stuff our inbox, and we even started getting baby videos that included footage of the babies’ bloody entrance into this world. 

So we decided we should build our own art collage of all this (most people avoid the IT floor and don’t realize we have a lot of empty rooms, a cocktail lounge, and a Hawaiian shirt exchange).  But since it was multimedia (for those videos of the Finance VP pumping out her adorable fertility drug triplets) – and we had run out our budget on the mahogany stools in our secret cocktail lounge – we all had to chip in.  Running a little short that month, I went to Yorba Linda Payday Loans, www.yorba-linda-payday-loans.info, a great source of online payday loans that requires no credit checks.  We think we can start charging people to come see the exhibit, enough to fund the purchase of our new martini glasses.

OK, so when does the digital generation of computer whiz kids start to have an effect on the workplace?  At the Monterey Park company where I am the help desk there is no evidence.  For example, we have a recurring problem that essentially goes like this:

When something’s wrong with your home PC, dump it on my chair with no name, no phone number and no description of the problem.  Because you assume that in IT, we love a puzzle. 

Look, I know what it’s like when your PC at home goes down.  It happens to people like me too.   But you gotta handle it yourself.  Call your manufacturer (their number is on their webpage under “Support” or “Contact Us”) and they’ll walk you through it.  Yes it will cost you.  And yes, that’s regardless if you blew your last paycheck on a trip to Cancun or not, or are getting married next year or have a brat who needs an X-Box, or you just broke up with your girlfriend and are in expensive therapy not covered by the company health plan anymore.  We understand.  Life is just a shit sandwich.  So if it gets too expensive, do what I do.  Get a paycheck advance at Monterrey Park Payday Loans, www.monterey-park-payday-loans.info, an online application being your means for doing that.  

Yes, I know, if your computer is broken how do you do find the money with an online application? Take two minutes to come up with a solution.  I’m confident you can do it.  

I’m the IT help desk in my company.  It used to be great, because no one actually knew who I was.  But then corporate had this idea we should be “real people” and visible to everyone every day, so they put us in this fish bowl office near the rest rooms by the cafeteria, with this invitation to get to know us.  It’s like they put out a memo to all employees that says: “When an I.T. person is eating lunch at her desk, walk right in and spill your guts right out. We exist only to serve.” 

Which means I try to go out for lunch every day.  So since that invariably means eating at the Montebello Town Center just a few miles away, I tend to do a little shopping.  All this adds up, and last month the extra expenses got a little ahead of me.  So I filled out an online application for Montebello Payday Loans, www.montebello-payday-loans.info, which provides a payday cash advance with a no fax, online application.  One could consider this a crime prevention tactic — so I don’t kill someone for interrupting my lunch.

I am our company’s IT director.  And lemme tell you, the stress is getting to me. Some days I just get punch drunk with frustration.  I was in a meeting with one of the VPs, and she was complaining about something that happened with her own computer, which was essentially her fault for failing to follow some idiot-simple instructions we sent a week in advance of a software change.  So I said, “When IT support sends you an e-mail with high importance, delete it immediately before reading. We’re just testing.” 

That didn’t go over so well.  So of course I’m interviewing for jobs, and that’s taking a lot of time and money (like, I had to go out and buy some clothes for the first time this century).   And despite my high level of compensation, I got caught a little short on funds this month due to some necessary hardware purchases at home, so I went to get a paycheck advance at  Lynwood Payday Loans, www.lynwood-payday-loans.info, a quick payday loan service that requires no credit check.  One use for the money is a diplomacy course, which might come in handy for me.

I recently learned that our fine Redwood City was originally part of Rancho de las Pulgas.  So I sure am glad our founding fathers had the good sense to change the name – who wants to be on the ranch of the fleas??

Which reminds me of when I first met my boyfriend Steve.  He lived in this dirt bag apartment over in San Bruno right on El Camino Real.  We’re talking mattress on the floor, food and dirty dishes in the kitchen and a bathroom last cleaned by the previous tenant, maybe.  Gross ick ick ick.  Steve made up for all that in a lot of ways, and besides he almost always came over here to my place, near, you guessed it, Alameda de las Pulgas.  So the flea theme continues.  But that wasn’t half of it. 

So we had been seeing each other for a few months, and once, just this one time (after we had a little two week “break” from our relationship), I stayed over at his apartment.  Well, a week later I’m noticing a distinct itching “down there,” in my v-land.  So I did an investigation (remember, I went to nursing school for a couple of weeks) and holy crapola, there are little fleas down there!  Live critters, with little contracting and expanding legs, looking none too happy that I found them.  So Steve says, “yeah, I guess I really need a new mattress” and I said “you betcha.”  

But he was running short of cash that month and I wasn’t going to loan him any money (not born yesterday, hear me?), so I sent him to Redwood City payday loans www.redwood-city-payday-loans.info , where he was able to get the best payday loans a job can get you (regardless of your flea situation — LOL!). He got the money overnight, it is a low cost payday loan, and we’ve been flea free for a month now (he had some shampoo on hand, fortunately).

I really dig the girls from Tonga and Samoa here in San Mateo.  That beautiful skin, and strong gams from sitting on the floors even in the nicer houses.  Maybe if America banned furniture in houses everyone would have more muscular legs.  

But you never want to mess with a Tongan girl’s dad.  Hoo boy did I learn that the hard way.  I was seeing this girl from my high school (yeah, I know I graduated like six years ago, but hey, it’s where the girls aren’t already hooked up with some loser).  She was a senior so it was all legal and everything.  And we were just in her house, watching TV (on the floor, of course).  So her dad got home but we didn’t hear him coming and he got the COMPLETELY wrong impression about what we were doing. So he starts chasing me around the house yelling and throwing things.  I went out the back door and circled around the house to the front, got in my car and hit the gas.

The problem with that was the car was in drive and slammed into their house.  Then I put it in reverse and hit her mother’s car.  He was banging on my windows and I was afraid he could rip the car open with his hands (the guy’s a bruiser, looks like a professional wrestler).  

So the damage was considerable, and I needed repairs just to make the car legally drivable so I could get to work.  Short on cash, I went to San Mateo payday loans www.san-mateo-payday-loans.info to get an advance on my paycheck.  It’s a same day payday loan service that gets you fast cash, when you need it.  A loan until payday is the best way of working yourself out of tight situations.

Now I’m cruising cool back near the high school, and while THAT girl is forbidden from seeing me – kinda harsh, don’t you think? - there are always more where she came from.

My wife is a birder.  That means she’s into bird watching.  For five years now, she’s been spending a weekend every month off in the desert or traveling all kinds of places in Nevada and Utah.  I didn’t mind because I work on weekends and have my own hobbies too.

Funny thing was she never really talked much about it.  So I started checking into her suitcase.  There were these black straps, leather or vinyl I’m not sure, and some tube thing about ten inches long, two or three inches in diameter, hooked up to an air pump.  Also she had some underwear I never remember her wearing.  She said these are the tools of birdwatching — that they sometimes hit the birds to stun them then study them with the vacuum tube. And the underwear moved the sweat away from her skin when out there in the brush.  Now I’m no scientist, but there’s something fishy about that.

So I went online and did a Google search, to find these things and buy some of my own.  I got into some chat rooms of experts in leather and they told me I should go to a trade show in Chicago called IML, International Mass Leather.  I guess there are experts at everything.  I wasn’t sure what it was all about but doggonit, my wife is scheduled for a bird trip the same weekend so why not?  To get the flight booked, I needed a little more cash so I went to South Whittier payday loans www.south-whittier-payday-loans.info, a fast cash, paycheck advance service that brings you money in a day.  Perfect.  So the money went right into my checking account and I was able to book the flight and the hotel.  Chicago, here I come!

I was SO jazzed when they opened up a Starbucks on Washington Boulevard here in Pico Rivera.  I loved that scene in “Best of Show,” you know, the dog movie, where the husband met his wife at Starbucks (except, he was at one Starbucks and she was at another, across the street).  And that made me think I could meet some guys at our new Starbucks.

So I went there and started hanging out and drinking coffee, just to see what would happen.  Which went ok until I realized how the caffeine really gets you kinda antsy (I wasn’t previously a coffee drinker).  So I had a hard time just sitting there by myself, which was good because it made me walk around and meet people.  At first that worked ok, people were nice, although I was surprised at how many of them were concentrating so hard on their computers that they didn’t even look up at me.  So I decided, “hey, I need a computer too” and went to Best Buy to find out how much they cost.  Holy Jeresus!  

Seeing that I needed a cool $800 minimum, I went to Pico Rivera payday loans www.pico-rivera-payday-loans.info to get an advance on my paycheck so I could afford one of them (was hoping for the Elle Woods model from Legally Blond, but seems like Apple has gone all corporate and doesn’t carry that model anymore).  Anyway, it’s easy to apply online at work, you get fast cash and there’s no credit check.

Except, here’s my question: So, if you’re drinking all that coffee and working on your laptop, what do you do when you have to go to the bathroom?  Do you leave it there, where anyone can steal it or look at what you’re doing?  Or do you take it into the bathroom with you (ick)?

I started dating this girl who’s really into the outdoors — biking, hiking, the whole thing.  I’ve managed to hide from her the fact I’m a smoker and like my Dewar’s, but this athletic stuff is starting to kill me.

All worth it though.  The chick is hot.  I love how strong she is, a regular bedroom gymnast.  Except you’d think that would be enough exercise for one day.  But no.

She got me biking, which is good.  I hadn’t biked in like 20 years.  So after tooling around South San Francisco, down the peninsula and a little bit over in Foster City, she talks me into a weekend in Marin County.  The first day was fine, we even carried tents and set up a camp on Mount Tamalpais.  That was sweet.  But already my seat was sore that first night.  The second day we clocked in about 80 miles – jeeze louise my butt was sore then.  So she offers to massage it and started getting pretty freaky with that.  Normally, I’d be into that kind of thing.  But this was abnormal.  The glutes were screaming to begin with and here she is not only giving it a deep massage, then offers to start walking on it and even do this thing with her back wheel.  And she tricked me, starting out gentle with that wheel and lull me into complacency, then lifting the bike up and slamming it right there, except not on the muscle/fat part, but right in the business spot.  Fearing internal injury, we started looking for a hospital that initially we had to find ON OUR BIKES.

Long story short, the ER charges went WAY beyond my insurance coverage, so I had to find some fast cash to cover the bill the next month.  I went to South San Francisco payday loans www.south-san-francisco-payday-loans.info , a payday loan direct service that takes an advance from your next paycheck.  So that worked out, even though I’m not sure where this relationship is going (she laughed more than said she was sorry…hmmmm).