Well I just got my drivers’ license today. Fortunately, I was able to pass the eye exam. Unfortunately, I can’t see any further than arms length away. This is going to be a problem since I am a bus driver. I went to an eye doctor and found out that I need to setup an appointment and also need to throw down money for some glasses. It’s going to cost me like 350 bucks. I don’t have that money! But most importantly the kids are going to make fun of me. They think I’m so cool right now, but when I get glasses they are going to call me dork, or geek, or dweeb, etc. It sucks!

Well, with that being said, I’m kind of strapped for cash. The eye doctor wouldn’t cut me a deal, but says I can fill out an online application for a payday loan in Greeley at http://www.PAYDAY-LOANS-IN-GREELEY.INFO . A call sets you up with the closest location to your house. I especially like the no credit check loans because I don’t have any credit to check. Well as soon as I get this payday loan - I am going the coolest dorkiest bus driver Greeley, CO has ever seen. I hate being called ‘four eyes’!

I live in a small town where the biggest and best store we have is K-Mart. My cousin moved up to Bolingbrook and demanded that I come to visit and go shopping. i saved my money for months until I finally knew that the time had come. I rode the local bus to the station where I boarded the train. Now when I say that I saved money for months I mean around a total of $200. After paying for the train, bus, food, gas, and this poor guy laying on the side of this building, I had barely any money left. What was I to do?

My cousin told my about this website she’s used a million times. She said it was a simple application, fast, and if I had any questions, there was a live chat with an agent that could answer all of them. I got on her computer and typed in http://www.PAYDAY-LOANS-IN-BOLINGBROOK.INFO. They didn’t even run a credit check! Almost immediately I was approved.

We spent the whole day at the mall and I went home looking like a model. Everyone asked me where and how. My answer was simple…Payday Loans. It’s quick, reliable, and effortless.  

It was a perfect day outside, not a cloud in the sky. My friends and I decided that we were going to go skydiving. I had always dreamed of this, but now it had become a reality. They convinced me to drive, so, the four of us crammed into my car and off we went. We were making good time, listening to our favorite tunes. The nervous feeling was already starting to develop in my stomach, but I knew I was ready. All of a sudden the tire exploded and off we went on to the side of the road. Coincidentally, I had just used my spare the weekend before and had no way of getting a new one; I had only brought enough cash for this adventure and thought once again my dream was crushed. I called a close friend who told me he would help out.

Luckily, within a few minutes, he was on http://www.PAYDAY-LOANS-IN-OTTAWA.INFO applying for a fast, easy, and almost fool proof cash loan. He called back explaining that he had been approved in minutes and that the money was being wired to the local grocery store bank.

I obtained the money without questions and was on my way to skydive again. Overall, I would say that getting this loan was much easier and painless than the actual diving of the sky. I don’t regret that day one bit, but I know if it wasn’t for payday loans, this would have never been possible.

I have a love for peanut butter. It doesn’t matter if it is on a sandwich, an apple, or simply right off the spoon. I eat close to a gallon of peanut butter a weak. I know it sounds weird. If you put peanut butter on everything like me, you would go through a gallon too. I like to even use my peanut butter instead of soap. One day this all changed for me. My buddies introduced me to jelly. I realized this was my new favorite sensation. I only had it in my budget to buy my peanut butter for the week. I realized something had to change. I went outside raging for my jelly. I was knocking kids over and giving attitude to Police. I really needed my jelly bad. I went to the local library to do some research on ways to make money.

Someone came up to me and told me if I needed money that the best way would be to get a Payday Loan from http://www.payday-loans-in-hanover-park.info, he told me that if I went to that site I could get approved immediately and have the cash I wanted to whatever I like.

 It turns out that the guy that was telling me about this happened to be one of the richest men in America “Donald Trump” he told me that he gets all of his cash from there. This is the best place to get a no credit loan in Hanover Park Illinois. I felt comfortable that they had an online application that took about a minute to fill out. I am glad I know a place to get cash anytime I want. I can now have my jelly and peanut butter. I think they should make a sandwich like this or something because it is amazing!

I know I buy online because I’m insecure.  That’s what my therapist said, anyway.  She said because my husband may not love me anymore, which I’m not sure about, that I find fulfillment in shopping and getting deliveries.  I do love to shop.  And I’ve always had the best taste of all my sisters.  Even after putting on some weight the last several years, I manage to find clothes that are just right, even sexy on my full figure.  You can’t say I don’t have good cleavage, so I generally favor scoop necklines and tighter tops.  My daughter said something about a muffin top, but she should know I like bagels with cream cheese, not muffins.  But since I’m working at home now, telecommuting, it’s really hard not to shop a little.  I didn’t want William to see the one credit card charge I had for zurconium rings, so I got an advance on my next paycheck at http://www.PAYDAY-LOANS-IN-PALATINE.INFO , which I then used to buy the rings electronically.  A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do.

I’ll never know who had the bright idea of putting the University of Illinois golf course out near the airport.  I used to have a membership at Lincolnshire Fields CC, but the little problem with the divorce, the house, the cars and my new (now former) girlfriend put an end to that.  I mean, why did she (the ex wife) say she was staying out of town for the weekend then show  up on Sunday morning before noon?  As if it was such a big surprise to find me with that Delta Gamma babe (Gamma Gams, go Illini!!) in the upstairs jacuzzi.  Maybe if we hadn’t started drinking at 9 a.m. (hair o the dog, right?), we woulda heard her drive in.  The kids were at her mother’s, and the dog was on medication so I guess that’s why no one alerted us to Barbara’s grand arrival.  So Heather was heaving, in a good way, in that jacuzzi (thank you Cialis) and Barbie bursts through the door and starts throwing my suits into the water on top of us.  I mean, a little overreacting you think?  Flash forward, I’m renting an apartment in Urbana and playing golf under the flyway. Alimony is not kind either, but when I need cash, I go to http://www.PAYDAY-LOANS-IN-CHAMPAIGN.INFO  to tie me over. Thank God for female caddies.

I knew I was gay since I was 12 and all I wanted to do was go to Woodfield Mall.  That’s why after I graduated from high school I came up from central Illinois to pursue my dream, to work in fashion.  Like, Project Runway and Christian Seriano are everything I want to be.  Clothes are the most important thing a person can say, to communicate who they are, why they are what they are.  I’m very deep about this because I’ve been studying it forever.  In fact I’m signing up soon for some classes at DeVry.  It’s also very important that I be right here, in Schaumburg, because everyone, even the people in Chicago, comes here for what’s in this year, what’s everyone else wearing, how they can put together new ways of tying their scarves, for example.  Also, I’m applying to work in mens suits over at Macy’s (can anyone say “inseam” LOL!!!!).  I know some people care about all that presidential stuff and the wars and stuff, but I say, where is John McCain without Cindy McCain’s clothes (and money)??  Where is Barack Obama without Michelle finding him some fine suits (and HER jumpers — OMG perfect!!).  Once in a while there’s a sale that I HAVE to take advantage of, but if I’m running short on cash I know where to get it: www.payday-loans-in-schaumburg.info  there they give you an advance on your next paycheck, in time to catch the sale before all the good sizes are snatched up.  Schaumburg is SO cool.

OK, so my buddy bought this little fishing boat that we wanted to use out on Lake Springfield, which is so much bigger and better than the fishing down there in Buckhart.  I know most people come to Springfield for the Lincoln and Frank Lloyd Wright stuff, but if you know your fishing holes, it’s a great place to fish.  OK, to DRINK while fishing.  In fact, my wife thinks I’m having an affair because I go fishing but almost never bring home any fish.  HA!  She wishes.  Anyway, so I found this boat on Craigslist and my buddy was the one buying it, for like $300, and I talked to the lady selling it and she said it was like new.  So he gives me the money and I go to pick it up the night before and put it in my truck.  Except I didn’t look at it very carefully.  So we get out there on the lake and had a few brewskis going and sure enough that thing started taking on water.  I don’t know what the heck was wrong with it, where the holes were, but in about ten minutes we knew we were in trouble.  The thing was sinking, he’s cussin me out and I got mad and threw his tackle box into the lake, worms and all, and before you knew it we were both in the water about 100 feet from shore.  Would you believe the Styrofoam cooler kept afloat?  Priorities in survival, man.  Anyway, he is my best friend from high school so I owe him for his tackle at least, maybe the boat and about $8 worth of worms.  Short on cash, I got a payday advance, where they give you money from your next paycheck, online at http://www.ezloanlookup.com/paydayloanlookup/uncategorized/springfield-ill/, which really helped solve the problem.  And the good thing was, coming home all wet, my wife now knows that I don’t have some girlfriend in Springfield, I just, obviously, am not very good at fishing.

I heard Cindy Crawford was going to make some public appearances in her hometown, Belvidere, which is not far at all from our trailer park in Rockford, and I really wanted to meet her because she’s been my idol since I was like five years old.  I know I don’t have her skin or eyes, and I’m currently a little heavy, but everyone tells me I have her mouth and the mole, IN THE EXACT SAME PLACE, and sometimes I wonder if we’re cousins or something. I mean, it could happen.  My mother isn’t sure who my father is, so … anyway, I always copy her hair, well except when she did that kdlang cover picture on Vanity Fair, which made everyone think she’s a lesbian (maybe her stupid ex Richard Gere with his gerbils is AC/DC or something, but Cindy Goddess is ALL woman!  And I want her new husband, Randy Gerber, which sounds SO much like GerBILL LOL!!!!).  But my car was having transmission problems that week and I didn’t have the money to fix it, so my girlfriend at work said “get a payday loan advance” and sent me to this website, www.ROCKFORD-PAYDAY-LOANS.INFO, where sure enough I got the $300 I needed, just in time to get me to Belvidere.  The only problem was I had the date wrong and I ended up just asking around town if anyone knew where her family lived, just so I could go look at her house and stuff.  They’re not very friendly there because no one would tell me.  So I just went to Wendy’s and had lunch and then went to Carvel for a triple swirl.  I WANT TO BE CINDY CRAWFORD!!!!!

I’ve been delivering flowers since last summer, and you’d think with gas prices this business wouldn’t make much sense.  But I guess if you know how much a guy gets invited into some desperate housewives’ houses, it makes COMPLETE sense.  I had this day last week when I had deliveries in Peoria, of course, but then drop offs in Keller, Pottstown, Norwood, Hanna City, Creve Coeur, Farmdale (yeah, really), Trailpark Gardens and then all the way to freakin Mossville and Alta.  So this chick in West Peoria answers the door in a bra and jeans like there was nothing to it.  I’m not saying she was Beyonce or anything, but that girl knew her best assets.  Tatas till Tuesday.  So she’s all happy about this cheap ass little bouquet and actually leans over and gives me a hug.  Almost lost it right there.  I had responsibilities, however, and the truck was running, so I took her number and promised to call her.  So I get home that night, pick up the phone and yeah, she’s still interested.  But I couldn’t tell her I live on campus at Bradley, with no car, so to get together with her I’d have to rent a car except my credit cards are maxed out and I have lousy credit in general.  Then my roommate tells me about getting a payday loan, which works because I have a job with a paycheck coming in two weeks, so I went online to  www.PEORIA-PAYDAY-LOANS.INFO , got the advance, enough to fund my checking account the next day.  So we met up back at her place and let’s just say my organic chemistry studying didn’t happen that weekend, but dude, it was ALL about biology.  I love my job.