I am an athlete. In fact, I am a superior athlete. I have unique abilities that only a small percentile of people in the world possess. I am a ribbon dancer. People have said that watching me on stage is the most beautiful thing they have ever seen. The way I make the ribbons flow through the air is an art and athletic talent. My athletic ability definitely comes into play because I can hop really high in the air which creates a great effect on my performance. People say I look like I glide through the air. I like to use the pink and purple color combination. My outfit is all silver. It shines in the light and people think it’s amazing. I’ve won 10 competitions and I am now ranked as the number 1 ribbon dancer in the nation. I hope I get an endorsement. Do you think NIKE will sponsor me? I’d love to have a shiny dri-fit suit!

If Nike does not sponsor me I’m going to have to find a way to make money to support my ribbon dancing. I need new ribbons for every performance and I don’t have the cash. My friend recommended I get a car title loan from http://www.diamond-bar-car-title-loans.info . They give people with bad credit cash fast.

Back to talking about my ribbon dancing career, I have been invited to perform all across the country. Ribbon dancing is just taking off! I have to start working out a lot to get ready for my shows. My calves need some work so I can jump higher and make people gasp at how high I fly. Hehe nice rhyme. I’m going to do some calf raises at the gym later. In the meantime, I need to think of some new choreography. I’m thinking about dancing to some African tribal music. That would be cool.

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I like breakfast burritos. I make my own. I get a nice fluffy tortilla and stuff it with fantastic food! I put some peppers, sausage, eggs, potatoes, onions,  tomatoes, and other ingredients that depend on my mood. I use HOT peppers. By hot, I mean the hottest ones I can find. I stuff it with the Bhut Jolokia chilli pepper from India. It is the hottest pepper in the world. A few weeks ago, I was making my burrito and thought I’d add some extra peppers. BAD IDEA. I started puking everywhere! I was pretty disappointed in myself. I thought I could handle it, but I guess not. The pepper was so damn hot that I was sick for a couple weeks! I probably just put too many in the burrito. My friend called me a baby for not being able to handle the pepper so I challenged him to eat one. The chilli peppers were no longer being put up for sale in my town so we needed to go to India.

We didn’t have any money for our trip so I decided to take out a car title loan at http://www.peoria-car-title-loans.info . I highly recommend these guy for all cash needs. They serve car title loans to people with bad credit. They even have an easy online application.

We went to India and found where they grew the peppers. The Indian people were so nice! We bought 2 pounds of peppers for a 2 dollars! What a deal! My buddy claimed he could eat all 2 pounds. We went back to the hotel and he started chomping away. Within a few minutes, he started getting really sick. I won the bet! Then, I had to rush him to an Indian hospital. That was a nightmare. My poor friend had to sit in the waiting room for hours. They laughed when I told them how many peppers he ate. Suddenly, this bet didn’t seem like such a great idea. Finally, my friend was taken care of and the peppers were removed from his system. He was all better. When we left the hospital, he got hit by a car. Could anything go more wrong!?! What a crappy day! Back to the hospital we went…

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My friend Tommy is a the man. He can pick up any girl he wants. Sometimes I get really jealous of Tommy. He’s got sweet moves and his hair is perfect. He slicks it back with some nice smelling hair gel. He wears clothes from the Armani Exchange store and he has some icy bling. He has a really nice Movada watch. It’s real silver! Wow! Tommy and I hit the bars last weekend trying to score some chicks. When we got to the club, Tommy spotted out a few very hot girls. He walked up and within minutes, he had two girls all over him. He winked at me and left me with the rest. I felt really uncomfortable! I had no game!

Since I had nothing to say, I started talking about this place I know in Joliet Illinois that serves car title loans. They get you cash really fast at http://www.joliettitleloans.com . They even do loans for people with bad credit. I highly recommended this place for all car title loan needs.

The girls were impressed by my knowledge about this place. I think they probably thought I owned the place and was rich because they started ordering all sorts of drinks on my tab! This one girl asked me for “Sex on the Beach”. I told her why would she want to do that? It was like 20 degrees outside! The water was probably frozen. Well, she walked away. I guess I lost my chance. After an hour, the only girl left sitting next to me was Buck-tooth Mary. She had some huge beaver teeth! I didn’t want any of that! I left. Tommy stayed and didn’t come home until the next morning. I suck.

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