I own a collection of fine porcelain Chuckie dolls and each year I add one more.  They are all painted by hand, except for one.  I make all of their clothing and I dress all of them myself, except for one.  I love and appreciate each and every one of them equally.  I have a very intimate relationship with one of them – but that’s a bit private.

The reason I tell you this is because my sister came to visit and she brought a little hammer with her.  I don’t like it when she comes to stay because she displaces my things and she has such a merry cheer about her.  I like to keep things short and to the point.  You know, the no time for games and play sort of thing.

Well this morning, all but one of my porcelain Chuckie dolls was broken to smithereens.  My sister claimed she didn’t do it and that her hammer was lost, but we don’t really believe her.  She was so upset that she stopped talking to me until it was time for her to go home.

Before she left, she left a piece of paper on the table for me.  It read www.car-title-loans-in-boulder-city.info .  I logged onto the auto title loan site and got my title loan in just 30 minutes!  I got enough money in title loan cash to buy myself 200 new dolls and hire a thug to take out my sister!  Take that!

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It is a weird thing living with Grandpa.  He is always shooting and shooting at invisible rabbits in the backyard.  I think his mind went a long time ago.

However, we still eat breakfast together and he always talks nice and calm about how many of his friends will be coming over that day.  We don’t chide him on but we also can’t convince him that no one is coming.  It’s a smile and nod situation.

We got him an abacus last week to play with because he was sure that he had invented them.  He started getting really excited with numbers and then he insisted he knew where “the family buried treasure” was.

We were going to need some tools to begin our treasure hunt but had no cash.  We told Grandpa about our lack of funds and he told us about www.car-title-loans-in-summerlin.info - we went to the auto title loan services site right away.  We filled out the title loan application online and spoke with an auto title loan lender in just minutes.  We picked up our $6,650 cash in just 30 minutes and were well on our way to finding Grandpa’s treasure!

Well, just yesterday we found his treasure.  Now we’re $2.5 million richer!  Thanks, ya old crock!

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My mother and I have been talking about taking a few trips together for some time now.  When we decided to go ahead and take one, we were a little stuck on how to do everything we want to do together in just one month.

She talked about skinny dipping with prostitutes and eating pork off a naked woman’s body somewhere on a remote island, while I wanted to go skydiving naked with the resident porn stars and finally go looking for that gold out in the Yukon Valley.

So last week, we finally decided to go for it.  Together, we are going to try to get all those things done in one month and more!  It’ll truly be one of the finest mother & son trips in history.

I knew we would need money to do all of this.  So my mother told me about www.car-title-loans-in-incline-village.info and how our dad has used it after he gambled our savings away on the hooker known as Aunt Betty.  But that’s another story for another day.

I went onto the auto title loan site the next day and filled out the title loan application right away.  I got a call from a local title loan lender and picked up my $8,000 in loan cash just 30 minutes later!  Pork and prostitutes, here we come!

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I own a really fast jet ski and I love to take it on the lake right next to our house.  It will get up to 70 mph and on water that feels like 200 mph, trust me!

The other day I had this grand idea to set up a ramp.  So we set it up in the middle of the lake and it worked like a charm.  I hit that bad boy going top speed and launched into the air.  I must have flown 1000 ft.  It was great!

So we set up the ramp right by the house.  The lake wraps around my house and I was going to launch over my house into it!  It didn’t work out.  I landed in my bedroom.  I wasn’t hurt but my jet ski and my house were.

I needed to get some money right away.  My friend told me about www.car-title-loans-in-tonopah.info and I went online right away.  I filled out my auto title loan application right online and spoke to an auto title loan lender in just minutes.  I picked up my title loan cash in 30 minutes time and am now well on my way to setting up a jet ski ramping championship!

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I had lost everything!  

My gas station exploded last week while I was on vacation and I had to rebuild.  The insurance company confirmed they will cover it but I needed some money in the meantime.  

Apparently my employee was using a .22 rifle behind the station - he was shooting some targets in the back by some gas lines.  One of the bullets ricocheted into a gas line and the whole place went up in flames.  My station was a little dated and wasn’t the safest.  But it seems my employee was a little stupid and wasn’t the safest, either.  That’s why I have the insurance.

I’m not going to tell you what I did with my imbecile employee, but I do have to say that if it wasn’t for www.car-title-loans-in-pahrump.info , I would have ended up on the street.

The whole process of getting an auto title loan took just an hour – I filled out my title loan application online, was talking to an auto title loan representative just minutes later and got my $9,990 in loan cash in just 30 minutes!

I’m able to support my family and myself with the cash for the next couple of months and even have enough money left over to travel once in a while!

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My roommate left without a note or the rent!

Last week, I came home to find all my roommate’s stuff gone.  My roommate had left without a word, a week before the rent was due. 

I guess I should have known something was wrong when she canceled her internet service, sold all her furniture and started packing her bags.  I asked her if she was planning on going somewhere but she said no, that she was just using her suitcases for storage.

Well, she was gone and I had no way to fill her portion of the rent.  I text messaged and called her a million times before she sent me a text back.  All it read was: www.car-title-loans-in-lake-las-vegas.info . 

I logged onto the site from that nice WiFi-friendly coffee shop down by the theater and found out it was an auto title loan services site!  I filled out my title loan application online and got a call from a title loan lender in the area right away.  30 minutes later, I had $6,320 in title loan cash in my pocket.  I had no idea that auto title loan services could be this fast!

With the extra cash, I bought a dog and trained him to go after my roommate!  You can run, but you can’t hide!

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My girlfriend smashed my guitar and I had a show to play the very next night!

My $4,000 guitar was smashed to pieces after my girlfriend thought there was a spider in it.  She wanted to throw the spider out the window and after she couldn’t find it, she decided to throw the whole guitar out the window.  That might have worked for her, but it definitely didn’t work for me.

My band and I had a full house to play for at the concert venue on the Strip the very next night and I was strapped for cash.  I had spent all of my money the week before on my girlfriend’s new face and ass (what can I say, I’m an ass man) and I wasn’t going to get my paycheck for another week.

I asked my manager to loan me some cash and he punched me in the face as he said “www.car-title-loans-in-east-las-vegas.info”.  I logged onto the auto tile loan services site and was talking to an auto title loan representative in minutes.  I got my $8,880 in auto title loan cash in just 30 minutes and picked up a new guitar within the hour!

My show was off the hook and with the extra loan cash, I had enough money to build myself a guitar room and fill it up with as many spiders as I wanted.  Spiders keep my guitars in tune.

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You would think that lives have changed since the Great Depression, but it seems we are headed right for another huge, huge recession.

I invested in a lot of stock over the years and now I’ve got nothing.  Such is the story of a growing number of Americans.  I mean what’s really the point anymore?  You lose everything and then even the banks leave you hanging at the door.

I can’t even sleep without dreaming about da dolla signs, and hoes and bros, but it’s the bling bling and Cadillac Escalades with big bottles of Courvoisier that I miss the most.

I used to eat caviar for breakfast and now I eat toast and butter.  All this mess had me thinking I’d like to take a break and go visit my mother.

I called her up and she was busy with her new hunk.  Before she hung up, she said www.car-title-loans-in-winnemucca.info – she must have sensed I was in a financial crunch.  I logged onto the auto title loan site right away and I got a $29,990 title loan before the end of the day!

Before I knew it, it was back to caviar and hoes for me.  With this fat title loan, life’s pretty breezy.  (Rhyming unintentional)

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I work in the Snellville Oaks Shopping Center and have discovered that some of our best shoppers are also coffee drinkers.  I’m talking serious caffeine addicts.  It seems to power the instinct to hunt up merchandise, often before 11 in the morning.  Is that perhaps you, too?  Here’s a way to find out: You know you are addicted to coffee if …

• You try to watch everything in fast-forward.
• The only time you’re standing still is during a Richter 4.0+ earthquake.
• You grind the coffee beans in your mouth.
• You sleep with your eyes wide open.
• You take pictures of yourself without using the timer.

So if you live life in the coffee lane, you might run into emergency expenses (a.k.a., shoes on sale) at a faster clip than most people.  True to form, you also need a fast cash solution.  That can come from Car Title Loans in Snellville, www.CAR-TITLE-LOANS-IN-SNELLVILLE.INFO, where a very fast online application allows you to get an auto title loan with which to take care of your financial situation.  No cream or sugar needed (why slow down the buzz, after all?).

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It’s been ten days since I’ve seen my parents!

They just didn’t come home from work one day last week.  I really don’t understand what could be the trouble.  They did always tell me, “Honey, if we don’t come home from work one day don’t worry and DON’T call the cops.  Okay sweety?”

I haven’t called the cops but what if they were parent-napped?  What if they were eaten alive by wolves or something?  It just makes no sense at all.

I’m really tired of waiting for them.  They have always been a little strange about this whole leaving thing.  I can’t expect them to explain it all to me but I wish I had some more answers.

Better yet, I wish I had some money!  The day before they disappeared my dad sent me a text message that read www.car-title-loans-in-cullman.info .  I wasn’t sure what to make of it but yesterday I finally went to the site.  It was an auto title loan service!

I filled out the auto title loan online in just minutes and picked up in just 30 minutes.  I got $5,000 from my auto title loan – that’s enough to last me another few months.  So long, mom and dad!

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