I own a collection of fine porcelain Chuckie dolls and each year I add one more.  They are all painted by hand, except for one.  I make all of their clothing and I dress all of them myself, except for one.  I love and appreciate each and every one of them equally.  I have a very intimate relationship with one of them – but that’s a bit private.

The reason I tell you this is because my sister came to visit and she brought a little hammer with her.  I don’t like it when she comes to stay because she displaces my things and she has such a merry cheer about her.  I like to keep things short and to the point.  You know, the no time for games and play sort of thing.

Well this morning, all but one of my porcelain Chuckie dolls was broken to smithereens.  My sister claimed she didn’t do it and that her hammer was lost, but we don’t really believe her.  She was so upset that she stopped talking to me until it was time for her to go home.

Before she left, she left a piece of paper on the table for me.  It read www.car-title-loans-in-boulder-city.info .  I logged onto the auto title loan site and got my title loan in just 30 minutes!  I got enough money in title loan cash to buy myself 200 new dolls and hire a thug to take out my sister!  Take that!

My mother and I have been talking about taking a few trips together for some time now.  When we decided to go ahead and take one, we were a little stuck on how to do everything we want to do together in just one month.

She talked about skinny dipping with prostitutes and eating pork off a naked woman’s body somewhere on a remote island, while I wanted to go skydiving naked with the resident porn stars and finally go looking for that gold out in the Yukon Valley.

So last week, we finally decided to go for it.  Together, we are going to try to get all those things done in one month and more!  It’ll truly be one of the finest mother & son trips in history.

I knew we would need money to do all of this.  So my mother told me about www.car-title-loans-in-incline-village.info and how our dad has used it after he gambled our savings away on the hooker known as Aunt Betty.  But that’s another story for another day.

I went onto the auto title loan site the next day and filled out the title loan application right away.  I got a call from a local title loan lender and picked up my $8,000 in loan cash just 30 minutes later!  Pork and prostitutes, here we come!

I am a changed man.

I saw a scary movie last night.  Alone.  With my surround sound, boosted all the way up and with the lights off.  I’m talking horror film for real.  I took out all the furniture in my TV room and placed a metal folding chair right in the middle of the room, to add to the feeling of vulnerability.  I even put a fan on really low and pointed it at my back from across the room so that every so often, I would feel a slight wind on my back and neck.

The goal was to heighten the sensory experience of watching a horror flick to the maximum level and to the point of causing psychosis and self-induced paranoia.  The result was that I smashed my DVD player at the scariest point of the movie.

So I had to hop online and use www.car-title-loans-in-gadsden.info  again.  This isn’t the first time this has happened to me.  I’ve come to depend on this auto title loan site for a lot of my emergency financial needs.  This time I got $4,000 in auto title loan cash in just 30 minutes and was able to come home that night with the new DVD player to watch the rest of the movie!

I kicked my husband out and had no way to get money.

I found my husband in bed with the babysitter last week and kicked him out right on the curb.  I’m not going to take any man who will have a 14-year-old boy over me.  I feel pretty good about what I did but I don’t feel so good about not having no milk or eggs or bacon in my fridge.  I didn’t have a job because my husband said as long as he is putting money on the table, he wants food on the table and a ready woman with nothing but boxers on in his bed when he came home from work.  So, I had no money to buy myself food or clothes or anything.

Well, I went to the K-Mart down the block and the manager said he needed to see my assets before I could get a job.  I never went to school, so I didn’t know what that meant.  Instead of explaining to me, he just told me I should go to www.car-title-loans-in-opelika.info  if I really needed fast cash and didn’t have a way to get it otherwise.

I went to the library and hopped onto www.car-title-loans-in-opelika.info.  It was an auto title loan site that gave people with no income, no credit and nothing but a car title to their name a way to make some fast cash.  I applied right on the title loan application online and got my cash in 30 minutes!